background-repeat:no;
background-attachment:fixed;
background-position:center;
Friday, March 30, 2007
hey hey... second last day of the march... finally this darn blogger allows me to blog after those irritating upgrading while system is so lagging... haiz... watever...
the beginning of march was indeed a happy-go-lucky day... felt everyday was happy... at least to unstressful and carefree mood... but, everything must come to an end...
had a "welcome" and "farewell" lunch today in QC dept with KFC and pizza... haha... garlic bread is mine... haha... though feel like grabbing the pizza for a second piece, but, kinda feel bloated and i seriously need energy to work for the second half of the day... just imagine, 4 students (including me) and 7 adults... $200 over lunch... wow... but 4 of us were treated... so nice...
farewell as in, really there's someone going off... my dear cutie Ian is reporting to NS 2 weeks later... i'm gonna miss him jokes and bullies and exaggerated action... really makes my day joyful... well, 2 rather matured youngsters, Justin and Wei Xiong is reporting to SP for their diploma... just couldn't imagine... time flies real fast...
in my mind, i always wants to use "reckon" in expressing something that i had understand and come to realisation... weirdo... it's a wrong word rite... watever...
i reckon...
i decided to give up... i had been depending my only soul mate, eileen poh, for almost 8 years... but, let me tell all of you that, there is nothing call "friends forever"... there's a day when you have to let go... it's a time when you have to tell yourselves that, let go, she belonged to her world, she is not yours and forever...
kinda sounded serious rite... that realm of life... and i'm serious... i only have to say, i'm so sorry for over-depending on you for someone who i came to feel happiness from the time and love we shared... because, we have to grow up... we even have to say goodbye to the closest person in this world like your parents...
for my carreer side... i was clueless... i was treated like a puppet who knows a lot but short of a path... my future is decided by the hands of the managers and management... "welcoming" me to the planning or training dept is not a definited answer yet until tuesday or most probably wednesday... i had being "given an opportunity" till i found myself being so useless...
my family.... the sole breadwinner had lost the job... don't think i'm the youngest and the stupidest one... money - finally became a big issue to live... am i capable enough to feed myself and my family... i'm not trying to be a heroine... but, who is going to ensure that this family can continue surviving till the god calls... it's not a day or two... it's not physically or mentally... it's a duty, a responsibility, not a regret but a life...
i'm just a yet-to-matured lady who is 21 years old...
wanna know some reasons why i hate falling in a relationship...
i detest oversmart people...
i detest barbarian people...
i detest weak people...
i detest proud people...
i detest people who tell lies...
i detest materialistic people...
i detest indecisive people...
i detest inconsiderate people...
i detest irresponsible people...
i detest incapable people...
i detest impatient people...
i detest workaholic people...
i detest over-sticky(dependent) people...
i detest noisy people...
i detest over quiet people...
i detest childish people...
i detest unorganised people...
i detest unthoughtful people...
i detest uncreative people...
i detest useless people...
i detest m'sian people...
.
.
.
that were just a handful of "detest" lists that i can come out with... i detest my life being in tears of regretful because i loved myself too much... i detest hurt myself and the one i love... and that's why i choose solitude... because i know what i want and what is good for me...
open your heart and let it flies...
because tomorrow will be a worser day...
------ cherish =)
darlin left a note at 11:32 PM
______________________________
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
stupid blogger... made me so annoyed because of the upgrading thingy to the google... haiz...
today, i realised a truth about myself... i'm so stupid and useless... feeling very disappointed about myself that i'm a D7 english scorer... just feeling so repulsive being so "low-graded" in academic lar... haiz... where can i go with this results... even i have a dream to enter university of south wales now, my results had abolish the first itinerary that i'm heading... i'm not re-taking the "o"... it is totally an unreal game...
today, Ian pointed out a fact to me... indeed, a person who is smart - wear spec... a person who is not bookaholic or rather "not smart" - have a perfect eye-sights despite sitting in front of the monitor, gaming for hours... which category am i in... isn't it so obvious...
the start of the week, i started to feel emptiness... the feeling of going to be obsoleted from this world, this galaxy, this dimension... life is getting so meaningless by losing the interest of my job scope... i just could help myself to be careless... failure...
well... pls be forgiven being real damn straight forward and curmudgeon fellow... i jus don noe why... i'm going to disappoint anyone by the reply that i give... (better ask me to shut up)... pathetically - something wrong with me...
anywhere, put tt above wretched testimonials aside...
curious to know what i had bought for my friend - sidon's birthday?!
1) poncho
2) mentos mint
3) plastic mini pegs
4) 5 in 1 (whistle, torch light, compass, themometer, magnifier) - kinda the coolest item among all
5) A5 size plastic mesh bag
6) 1 set of metal utensil (spoon + fork)
7) safety pins
8) toothbrush
9) toothpaste
10) hand towel
11) adidas deo body spray
12) kiwi boot wax
13) poker card
14) a box of hansa-plaster
15) tiger balm
16) disposable men shaver
17) voda voda mineral water
18) body foam
19) body lotion
20) shampoo
21) facial foam
extraordinary 21 personal hygiene necessity items for the 21st birthday boy in preparation for sending him into NS this year... haha...
wat a wonderful and fun shopping adventure... but... swear, begged for no more next time...
------ cherish =\
darlin left a note at 12:18 AM
______________________________
Thursday, March 08, 2007
hehe... it's been a week... I had been down with illness for 2 weeks... my throat is killing me... tu-pid throat inflammation... tu-pid doctors... this is the first time i consulted 2 doctors who didn't cure my sickness...
haiz...
the IT show is back... hmm... heart feeling so itchy to catch up with latest technology... oh...
and... i deemed to go exercise... my body is damn weak... haiz... hmm.... blading before attending to sidon birthday bbq... hmm... not bad rite... tt tu-pid eileen poh deserted me... bleh...
well... luck come and goes... this week, i feel that my social circle and begin to accept me in the fun... and ya... i attend a Fennec appreciation in Eurocopter... hmm... party?! award ceremony?! dinner?! watever... had the opportunity to attend such company event... so rare...
btw, i had accepted the opportunity to work in the planning department... even though it is said to replace a part-time position, i hope that the department give me something more challenging... all the craps that the manager tells me, better make it realistic... don fool me... i'm not a kid neither a pauper... i had paid with criticism from peers...
being pessimism, even my opportunity fails or falls in another word, it is a learning process... there's no harm trying... you will sure learn things even you fall... and i think... it's still not too late to prepare my "FUTURE" now... but i'm lost...
suddenly have a though to go overseas to study... stay in the dormitory... haha... influenced by tt lame drama... haiz... wondering, do an overseas cert worth as much as a local cert...
well well...
it is not a title that shines out who i am... i believe in steps of success that creates me... perfunctory truth has no different from wearing a mask......my aims .n. my dreams .n. my life...
this is just a new chapter of life...
------ cherish =)
darlin left a note at 10:33 PM
______________________________